Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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