i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
