I wish I could punch you in the face.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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