Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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