her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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