Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
