I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
