He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
