rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
