i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
