quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
