I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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