Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
