I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
