a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
