Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
