I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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