I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
