My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
