I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
