to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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