I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
