i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
