just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
