honey bunches of taint.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
