So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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