He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
