it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
