Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
