you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
