New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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