Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
