My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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