This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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