his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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