you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
