that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
