I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
