I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
