Plan B is the new Plan A
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
