Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
