she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
