This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
