Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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