Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
