What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
