You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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