I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
