so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
