Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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