So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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