What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
