we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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