I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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