So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
